Wednesday, 21 November 2012

When Does Enough Become Not Enough?

In the end, everything will be ok. If its not, its not the end.

Firstly, please read this with an open mind. Others are in different situations and some maybe the same. I don't appreciate small minded comments. I'm having my opinion and its my blog.

Let's start off with friends. In my life so far, I've been the type of girl who will spare her last fiver for a friend in need. I will always help someone out regardless of what they do for me. I'd give my right arm to arrange activities, make sure their happy and always always do my best to maintain the friendship. I support my friends, ask about their lives, take an interest but its left me wondering where I am. When does enough become not enough? The majority of my close friends leave me feeling like I've been picked up and put down when it suits them. It's become more evident as life goes on that people are self centred and selfish. At the moment I tend to feel like I'm putting in £100 to get back 1p. No matter how much they moan about being bored, have no money, I suggest things to get thrown back in my face. I speak to them about it, I get ignored. I'm no saint, I'm not perfect. I'm honest, sometimes brutal with it and I always speak my mind but I always try be nice. I'm the sort of person who has their emotions written right across my face. If you see me and I'm in a bad mood, you can see it in my face immediately.

And friends aren't all of it. If you have me on twitter (@bethsbeautyblog), you'll have recently seen my depressing tweets. All about a boy. I'd give everything for this boy, right since I first met him. I bent over backwards to make him happy, be as nice as I could. Made every little effort to speak to him until it wasn't good enough. I'm still in contact with him and see him but all that happens is I'm picked up, used and chucked back on the pile. I know what you're all thinking - what an idiot she is. And I am. I know you're all saying, "you can do better, move on". I wish it was that simple. Again, enough now isn't. The sad thing is although I am very independent, I am also dependant. I feel like I need someone there which is why I don't let go, no matter how bad they treat me.

What I'm trying to say is I spend my whole life giving to get nothing in return. People continuously throw things back in my face and it's draining. I almost feel like I need a break, move away somewhere and start new.

Another incident in this is job hunting. I've wanted to work in beauty ever since I got my first make up which was a Sabrina The Teenage Witch box where you collected the make up weekly with a magazine. I've applied for every job under the sun, I've spoke to every counter possible, tried to get any experience and everyone wants to knock me down. It really becomes disheartening when you're ignored when you've expressed a strong passion in the industry.
I recently applied for a job at Benefit which was advertised over twitter. After having my number passed onto the area manager and being told she'd ring me, she never did. I contacted her on twitter more than once, contacted other members of staff at the store, contacted head office, emailed head office, still no reply till I sent an annoyed tweet to Benefit. They replied obviously and I was fobbed off with some story about how the area mangers twitter was broken - weird because she'd been on it, obviously seen I'd been trying to contacting her and was tweeting someone else discussing the hours I wanted to apply for. I won't forget that the person at the Benefit official twitter spoke to me like I was a retard. She asked me to email the company, I already had, why would I email to be ignored again. The woman also did this all by DM to protect the companies precious reputation. No matter how much interest I express in this field, I get no where so I'm stuck in a dead end retail job praying it hits 5.30pm and I can go home.

I didn't write this for pity or people to feel sorry for me. I'm a fighter but lately it feels like everything is on top of me and its getting hard to shake. I've done this to remind me that no matter how hard life is, it'll get better.

You've got to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad.
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46 comments

  1. Aww I really hope things finally go your way. Fingers crossed for breaking into the Beauty industry. Keep trying, as I'm sure it will be worth every set back in the end.

    I'm currently job hunting too. Applying for every job out there. I'm about to be made redundant, so I know how you feel about being in a dead end job.

    Keep your head up lovely :) xx

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    1. Thank you for the lovely comment. Finding a job seems to be so hard at the moment, I know how many people are struggling aswell as me. Hope you find something soon xx

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  2. I'm so glad you posted this. I understand what its like to be with friends like That. I try my best and never get anything back, they take the Mick, treat me awful and I'm still there. I needed them the most a few months ago and they didn't care. in the end I'm left with hardly any friends, bit the ones I am with are obviously my true ones. also with the job thing, everyone is looking for a job and I know how hard that is too. I applied for probably 100 jobs and got one interview. I now have one bit not on something I want to do but I'm just hoping after I finish college I can try and get ny dream.job. its hard and you have to keep trying, I hope you can do it :) chin up girl! You can do it xxx

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    1. I'm the same, I have a small group of true friends who I spend time with and speak to day to day but sometimes even they mess me around, don't get me wrong, I love them.

      It's so hard to find your dream job nowadays, that's what I'm finding. Don't give up on it either.
      Xx

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  3. Things will get better! Remember your family and the good things you have! And I can't believe benefit were that bad, glad you let people know! I hope you feel better.
    Becca xx

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    1. Thank you. I added the Benefit bit in because people ought to know how bad they are as a company. It's not the first experience of this either.
      Xx

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  4. it will get better, well i am a firm beliver in so, otherwise i wouldnt be juggling three jobs hoping for something to come from it. Keep trying lovely, it will all pay off in the end, xxx

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    1. Me too. I know things will get better, at the moment it just seems like a day that's really cloudy, it will all be ok.
      Xx

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  5. I loved reading this, so so honest! I hope things start to look up for you and you start getting back what you put in. Also that Sabrina magazine was amazing ;)

    Becca xx

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    1. Thank you. I'm sometimes too honest. Can't believe you remember the magazine ;)
      xx

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  6. I know the feeling when everything gets on top of you! you feel like you'll never come out of the other side. I can't believe that a buisness would treat you like that, I can't imagine what kind of employers they would be. I think you are better off not being there. As for the 'guy', People can tell you you're better than that, and shouldn't waste your time. And you know that, but it is easier said than done! They make you feel like you're not worth it, and yet you still go back for more, hoping that eventually..they will realise, and they never seem to. But you'll always hope.

    It is your blog, and you write what you want. SOD what other people thing, if they have the time to write negative comments, then they obviously have nothing better to do!
    Things will get better soon hun, and you'll look back on this time in your life & wonder what you were worried about :)

    Love this post & your blog :)


    Rachael xx

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    1. Thank you for the lovely comment. I'm starting to learn to live without the boy and get him out of my life, sometimes it's just hard but I need to do it. Another reason why I've written this is so I can look back and think "thank god I'm better"
      Xx

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  7. Aww, This was really sad to read :( You've got some amazing qualities by the sound of it & I'd love a bestfriend as good as you say you are. I'm the same on the job front. I applied for a Job in the new Smashbox counter that has just been fitted into my local boots. The job said you needed no training just a love for make-up, so being already in a make-up artistry course in college I thought i'd be perfect because they wouldn't have to train me. But no, I didn't get it & went in there a few weeks later & there's a man working there who doesn't know what he's doing! RIDICULOUS! Don't give up babe, you'll get there! :)


    www.luciel0cket.blogspot.co.uk

    xxxxxx

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    1. I totally understand about the Smashbox thing, I was the same - applied through Boots, got to the online assessment and they rejected me! Can't believe them!
      Xx

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  8. I don't think there's anything I can say is there???? :) Just i'm always here if you want to chat. xoxoxoxox well done for posting though x

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  9. First off, you should be so proud your posting this.
    I sort of feel the same with the friends part, but sometimes I think there comes to a point where you need new friends. You can almost guarentee as soon as you make new friends they came running back.
    You deserve better!
    As for the job thing, I believe that persistance will always pay off. You've got to be in the right place at the right down. I have heard a couple of bad reviews about Benefit and employment with them, so maybe that was a lucky escape!
    Keep searching, it'll come your way! :) x

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    1. Thank you. Can't believe how rude they were. I just need to keep persisting and hopefully it'll get me there. I won't stop till I have x

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  10. I totally get the whole friend situation, because I feel exactly the same. My friends call me just when they need something and ignore me when I need help, yet I still keep in touch with them, idiot. I often think about moving across the world and starting fresh. It seems like I can't trust anyone around me anymore...


    Sandra from The Puzzle of Sandra's Life

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    1. I totally understand this, sometimes you are your own best friend. I'm skeptical about who I trust. I really get the moving away thing, it'd be great to start a new life somewhere.
      Xx

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  11. Hun, this post is fab and a good way of expressing how you feel :)
    Life can be and let me put this blunt-shit! And it gets harder the older you get, but you sound like such a wonderful inspiring individual who will achieve far more then the so called friends and that boy. You are a fighter :) big hugs and here to talk whenever you need it xxx

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    1. Thank you, I've found writing this post has helped. Almost like a weight being lifted. Sometimes people need to speak out.
      Xx

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  12. After reading this i really just wanted to give you a hug :(
    I feel exactly the same when it comes to friends. I love the bones of them i really do, but sometimes i feel they only want me when it benefits them. Im tired of being sidelined and being the one who has to constantly go out of my way to make the effort.

    As for the job thing, they're out of order for the way that they've handled it - i hope something comes along soon :D

    I hope you feel better after this post, i know that sometimes letting it all out can really make a difference!
    Feel free to email (youralmostalice@gmail.com) or tweet (@youralmostalice) me if you need someone to chat too!
    Natalie xx
    youralmostalice.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you for the lovely comment and offering to help talk. It's really appreciated.

      I really understand how you feel. I've noticed a lot of people really agree with me about friends, it's amazing how people feel the same.
      Xx

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  13. Ah Beth, I know everyone say's this and it most probably make you feel any better but I know exactly how you feel. It's like what you just wrote is exactly what I went/ I've been going through too. When I got ill I felt all my friend's gave up on me & I was all on my own just trying all the time to make the effort, hunting for a job & not feeling good enough just being in a rut. I won't go too into it as it's only a comment but if you wanted someone to talk to on Twitter or on email (its on my blog :)) then honestly do, I really wouldn't mind,

    Sam
    xx

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    1. Thank you for your support, it's really appreciated. Sorry to hear you've had a similar time. I hope you're ok now :) xxx

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  14. This is such a lovely post Beth. I, like others, can totally relate to the friends thing. Yes - people are selfish, I always feel like I make so much effort and get nothing in return. I really hope you start feeling better about things soon, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, you will find your dream job, dream man and great, true friends one day and everything will fall into place. Lots of love. xx

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    1. Some people are selfish and that's what frustrates me because so many people give so much and get back so little. I hope one day everyone gets their dream job, partner and a happy life.
      Xx

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  15. I've been in a situations before too where everything just seems to being going wrong and you think the whole world is against you. But at some point things will turn around, you're doing everything you can to make things work and all that effort has to pay off at some point.

    With regards to the friends sometimes you just have to take a step back and see if they come after you or see if they notice, if they don't they're not worth having. I've had friends in the past who've acted like this and i've just drifted away from them. It hurts like hell when your friends treat you like crap, but if they're not interested in your life and don't make the effort then it's not worth the energy.

    As for the boy, jeesh I know what that's like! And I know right now you'll be thinking this is it, it's always going to be like this and there's no-one else out there but I promise, when you least expect it someone wonderful will walk in to your life. I felt the same about boys and my other half turned out to be a boy i'd known since we were about 12/13. We got together when we were 20 & 21 and now we have a house with a mortgage and a son - ok so he's a furry son, not a human baby but it's our wee family! When you do find your other half you'll look back at this time in your life and shake your head thinking "what?!"

    When you get your job, which you will!! You'll meet so many new people and have more opportunities. Out with the old and in with the new...those friends will cling on to you, especially if you're getting somewhere in life but in time you'll realise you can do much better and you'll have the confidence to say "ah feck off"

    *massive hugs*

    Lxx


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    1. Thank you so much for your comment Linsay. It's so helpful and encouraging, everything you've said is right and one day I will have everything I want. I think I have too many dreams and work hard to get them and make sure I do. At the moment it's almost like a rainy day, it's bad while it's here but it'll soon be sunny.
      I have my fingers crossed, I'm beginning to feel more positive already. Thank you again, it means so much.
      Xx

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  16. I understand I have friends like that, I just got married and we paid a lot of money for some friends to be in our wedding and they didn't appreciate it and haven't spoke to us since, as you get older you really learn who your friends are xx

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    1. It's amazing that people of all ages experience this. I thought I had learnt who my friends are but obviously not, there's still time.
      Xx

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  17. I can totally relate to this post. My "best friend" definitely treats me like this. I always try and arrange to meet up and go out because she's gone to uni, but she always finds any old excuse not to. Really gets to me sometimes! Just so you know, you are definitely NOT alone feeling like this :) Great post xx

    http://belle-amiebeauty.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Yes, I have exactly this. Thank you for the lovely comment. Hope everything starts to go well with your friend for you hun xxx

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  18. I know exactly what you mean. One of my best friends ruins my birthday - which is on New Years Eve - EVERY year because she always decides that she wants to do the exact opposite of what I want to do (which is normally tailored arounf her anyway as she's such a fussy cow). Last year she actually completely excluded me from our NYE plans (with a phonecall on xmas eve...) as "there wasn't enough room in the car". Her birthday's also in December and after six years of me making an effort for her birthday and her doing everything in her power to f*ck mine up, this year I'm not even going to help her celebrate hers. It seems petty, but I just can't be bothered with her selfishness or the annual arguments anymore. This is just the tip of the iceberg with her, too! I don't do frenemies, I'm twenty four, for heaven's sake! Also, I'm so sick of friends dropping me as soon as they get a boyfriend - obviously you always end up seeing less of your friends in these situations as they have to spread their time out over more people, but still, you can't even send a text? Really? UGH. Screw 'em! x
    that-bird.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Well done you. So horrible that she makes no effort but well done for standing up for yourself and standing your ground, you, like me, deserve people who are willing to put in the time. I agree that it's just stupid, I'm 20 and even I'm getting sick of it so at 24, I'd be beside myself. I definitely agree with the boyfriend thing, the majority of my friends are in relationships and I'm the single one, sometimes they don't bother with me because they're with boyfriends which I understand but it's not hard to ask how I am.
      Hope things work out for you too hun, soldier on! Xxx

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  19. Hey Beth, sounds like this blog has helped take a weight off your shoulders. I find blogging great when your stressed. Sometimes you can write it all down and never post it, like you were worried to do. Looks like there are a lot of people in the same boat as you. You're not alone :)

    Wendy Xoxo
    www.painttheukpink.com

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  20. Aw it's really not nice when friends behave like that, when it comes to friends everything should be easy and effortless, not draining and tiring! I wonder if you went a bit quiet on them, whether they'd start making more of an effort?
    I hope things get better for you and good luck with the job hunt - hopefully nothing has worked out so far because you're on your way to the right one around the corner :-) xx

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  21. Thanks for your honesty and sharing this with us. I think we all can relate to it somehow. I strongly believe that things will get better for you. Nothing is un-achiavable (is that even a word? :D). If you believe it, you are half way through it <3
    Lots of love Xxx

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  22. really lovely post <3 xx

    theistyleblog.blogspot.co.uk

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  23. I really feel for you in the job situation it's so cut throat especially in industries like beauty and fashion... One thing I strongly recommend though is not to post things about companies you might want to work for... Obviously it's totally upto you as it's your blog but benefit are connected to a number of other beauty brands and your name could be blacked in a large part of the industry in the click of a mouse!

    I hope I haven't offended you and I really hope your life starts going the way it wants to, you'll get your big break one day x

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  24. i can completely relate to your friends situation! at the moment, i literally have none where i live at uni because when i lived with them last year they took complete advantage of me and stole my clothes, took them on holiday, destroyed them! they broke my blu ray player from my boyfriend and just took the complete piss!
    What i can say is that if they're not treating you the way you treat them, they aren't worth your time! i really hope you're ok and it takes a lot to share something like this on a blog. I hope everything gets better
    xxx

    http://beautybyalexiajade.blogspot.com

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  26. I can relate to this post so much, feels like I wrote it myself! I know what you mean about friends, they're there for you when they want to be, yet when something better comes along it's almost as if you don't exist any more.

    Keep trying on the job front, you'll find something soon :) x

    itstimetobefearless.blogspot.co.uk

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  27. I've been a very similar situation to you for a while now. You pretty much wrote exactly what has been on my mind. I too feel like I want to move to London or somewhere crazy just to escape and be distracted. I think it all comes from inside ourselves though and its really inspiring to see that you have now found a better job and are starting to feel happier (I've also read your most recent posts). Maybe the happier we are the brighter we will shine and people will have to take notice!

    Maria
    www.mareliwel.blogspot.co.uk

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  28. Hi hunni, (i'm a new follower) I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you - I was in the same situation with my friends, It came to a point where I found myself being the only one who was actually bothered about our friendship. I was always the one they would turn to, listen to their problems, give them advice, do them favours… It got to a point where I was miserable because I knew our friendship was fake, I knew they spoke badly about me to others, even the way they left it days to reply to my texts left me feeling miserable! Until one day I just said enough was enough, I cut off all contact and just
    I may not have the large group of friends I once had, but its a small price to pay to get that weight lifted off my shoulders! I get the chance to spend more time around my family, with the people who love me, friends who actually enjoy my company! It wasn't long until they tried contacting me, but seeing how much happier I was without all the drama… It just wasn't worth going back there with them again! Friendships should be equal, if your giving 100% with nothing in return, then it's not a friendship, so don't settle for it - you're worth so much more than that! xxx

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